DATE: 11/21/06

CONTACT: Deborah Thomason, 864-656-5721; dthmsn@clemson.edu

WRITER: Diane Palmer, 864-656-4741; spalmer@clemson.edu

Create new ways to share old holiday traditions

CLEMSON – Holidays can establish traditions and strengthen family ties. However, holidays can also contribute to family stress.

Grandparents may find themselves in the middle of family hassles during the holiday season. They may also have changes in their economic or health status and may need a quieter holiday celebration. This may conflict with family expectations of visits with every child, extensive gift giving or elaborate celebrations.

Letting go of these traditions may be difficult.

Have a family discussion by phone or in person to decide what’s important in your holiday traditions,” said Deborah Thomason, Clemson Extension family and youth development specialist. “Maybe grandparents can’t cope with a large family gathering at their house or maybe a family can’t face another cross-country trip with preschoolers.”

Thomason stresses the importance of cooperation with other family members and decide new ways to keep the traditions that mean the most to everyone. Create new ways to share old traditions.

Consider visits at a new time. Your family could look forward to a January visit rather than one during the most stressful holiday period or a grandchild might enjoy a pre-holiday visit. Have a potluck dinner instead of having the full meal prepared by one family. Set a price limit for purchased gifts.

Use family history in your gift giving, suggests Thomason.

Write stories about your childhood or your children’s years while growing up. Give a small family heirloom with a written history as a gift. Or choose a few old photos and accompany them with a story about the events and people in them.

“To have a caring family holiday, consider the changing needs of family members,” said Thomason. “Keep the best of the old while you build a new family history.”

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