Text Box: Maria

Text Box: Maria’s Home Page

Text Box:              Dream Place There is a place, a small place, in my dreams A sparkling waterfall that glistens as it leans Over the shining silver rocks. Little ripples splash the ivy leaves That a ladybug sits on as she eats Resting over the shining silver rocks. There is a rose, a single rose, That twists and twines and twirls  as it grows Over the shining silver rocks. There is a moon, a great white  moon That  shines and shimmers in the sky as it looms Over the shining silver rocks.            

Text Box: One Day In The Life Of None Other Than Me, Reginald   (TO BE READ IN A BORED BRITISH ACCENT)                         Yes. I’m a cat. And I’m afraid that you remarkably stupid humans who think you know absolutely everything know nothing about the actually quite high intelligence of most of us feline beings. Personally, I can read, write, do math, and…usually make reasonable logic in this soft, furry  white head of mine. And to prove that I am this intelligent, I shall give you a timeline of my day (yes, I can read clocks, thank you very much).   9:00. Wake up and give an exaggerated yyyyaaawwwwwnnnn. Shift into a more comfortable position and go back to sleep.   9:48. Wake again. Strut over to food bowl, hoping that Amy has filled it with my preference, Gourmet Tuna & Flounder Dish.   9:56. Finish breakfast. Go outside to warm fur.   10:00. Take a trip to the litter box. Come back outside, and flirt with the gorgeous calico next door.   10:20. Score! The calico, Rosie, finally got the message. I tell her to go down to that shady spot near the river tonight at seven for our date.   10:30. Take a catnap.   10:53. I am rudely awakened from my catnap by the newspaper boy throwing one of his meaningless bags of paper onto my head. For revenge, I throw a newly caught dead squirrel into his bike spokes. Haha! He falls, rubs his knee, and gets back onto his bike, throwing the squirrel into the river. Irritated, I yowl at him, “I resent that-the squirrel was one of my best catches!”              Ignorant little twerp!   11:10. Finish another catnap. For exercises, focus on catching annoying bird that keeps chirping really loudly. It hurts my ears!   11:30. Eat lunch (which is that annoying bird I mentioned earlier) and groom myself by licking and pawing the feathers from that bird off of me. Gross!   12:00. Amy’s coming out-with my kitty box?! And my catnip ball inside it??!!              Oh, no! TRIP TO THE VET!!!!!!   2:03. After suffering at the merciless hands of the cursed veterinarian and his implements of torture…I take a catnap.   3:00. Wow, that was a really long catnap. Walk inside and sprawl out on the couch, accidentally turning on the television. I jump back in horror! There is a devastatingly ugly woman in desperate need of makeup or plastic surgery (either one will do) blabbering about someone named Saddam Hussein.              Whoa! He’s even more hideous than she is!   4:00. Groom myself. Eat more cat food, and stretch out, basking in the sunlight from the open window. Ahhhhhh…….that’s my favorite spot.   4:42. Amy’s petting me. “Oh, don’t stop! Yeah...right there between the ears. No, little higher-oh, yeah. Wait, what are you doing? Why are you going to the bathroom?! No! Not a bath! I can clean myself! See?” I’m licking frantically when (oh, AGONY!) Amy plops me down in the water!   5:30. Start stashing up cans of expensive gourmet cat food for my date with  Rosie. Three will be enough, don't you think? I manage to snag a worn but nice printed towel for a small tablecloth, and I stash it up under an armchair that Amy can’t reach under-but I can!   6:00. Yes! I finally managed to catch our main course: a medium-sized fish from the river! I expertly gut it with my teeth and wrap it up in the towel. Now to get ready….   6:53. Time to go! Grab food and lug it down to the riverbank. Quickly set up delicacies around that tasty silver fish. Wait! One more thing…I go over to the side of the forest and do my…business.  All right! Let’s party!   8:30. Ah….that went wonderfully. We feasted on my food and then laid down and watched the stars while we talked.              So after all the excitement of the day….I lay down on Amy’s lap and go to sleep.