Frequently Asked Questions
For the general public
For partners
Contact us
“I’ve learned so much. I love taking photos…something I’ve never done before…
I look at trees and clouds and sunsets and sunrises with new eyes.”
Chardae
mentor
General Information
How is a mentor matched with a child?
It begins with an application process for both the mentor and the mentee. Once both applications have been processed, the coordinator looks at the interests, location, ethnicity and preferences of the child and the mentor. When the coordinator thinks s/he has found a good match, the prospective mentor will be contacted with some generic information about the child. If there is interest in proceeding, you are interested, the coordinator then contacts the caregiver and provides some generic information about the prospective mentor. If everyone is in agreement that this could be a good match, an initial meeting is set for the caregiver, child, coordinator and prospective mentor to discuss the program and “break the ice”. Once a match contract is signed, the mentor is free to set up an independent meeting with the new mentee.
How do children come into the program?
Children and their parents or guardians may hear about Building Dreams from a teacher, a counselor, their church, another parent, the incarcerated parent, a friend, etc. All children and their parents choose to be in our program and we strive to reach the children who can benefit from a positive role model in their lives.
Who are the children in the program?
Our mentees come from many types of home environments and family structures, different social-economic levels, ethnic backgrounds and neighborhoods and schools across all communities. We have boys and girls in our program. We try to match mentees and mentors of the same sex and same ethnicity whenever we can—currently African American male volunteers are our greatest need. Our mentees’ backgrounds and personalities are unique, but the thing they all share is a need for friendship with a caring adult.
Who are the mentors in the program?
Our mentors come from diverse backgrounds just like our mentees. They are just regular people. Mentors don’t need any special degrees or special skills. They simply have to want to have a positive impact on a young person in need. What they have or haven’t accomplished isn’t an issue. Role models come in all shapes and sizes, and many types of individuals can be a perfect fit!
When do mentors and mentees get together?
Our mentors and mentees decide together what they want to do and they get caregiver approval. We recommend that mentors keep a consistent schedule of outings and that mentors and mentees see each other on a regular basis. Site coordinators will provide specific guidelines on expected frequency of activities. Until the relationship is established, the outings will also depend on the comfort level of the mentee, the mentee’s caregiver and the mentor.
Does mentoring cost money?
We don’t encourage spending a lot of money on outings. The goal of the relationship is friendship. Focus time on getting to know each other. Seek out free or low-cost activities, especially in the beginning. Shoot hoops at a local park, play a game together, or share a pizza for lunch. We sometimes offer group activities that are a great way to meet other mentors and mentees. Mentors may also receive notices of opportunities for free tickets for mentors and mentees to attend a variety of cultural and sports activities.
What do mentors and mentees do together?
Share an activity that provides something to talk about. Buy a comic book to read to each other. Play a board game. Hit a bucket of balls at the local driving range. Visit a museum or the local library. Select activities that give both mentor and mentee a chance to learn more about one another. For children, playing can be learning. Most important: keep it simple and enjoy!
Can mentors bring their spouse/friend/partner/children along?
In the beginning it is important for mentors and mentees to get to know each other. This can happen best on a one-to-one basis. Over time it is also valuable for mentees to get to know the people who are important to their mentors. Keep in mind that if mentors spend a great deal of time with others, the mentee may begin to feel jealous or neglected. Remember that the main focus is the friendship the mentor has with the mentee.
What kind of support do mentors get from Building Dreams once they are matched?
Once a mentor is matched with a mentee, a site coordinator will be in regular contact with the mentor to provide assistance and give feedback. Anytime a mentor is unsure about what to do or how to handle a situation, a site coordinator will be available to help. Mentors receive ideas for activities, guidance for handling possible difficult situations and feedback on how mentors are making a difference, just by showing up!
How is Building Dreams funded?
Funding for Building Dreams comes primarily from a federal Mentoring Children of Prisoners grant from the Administration for Children and Families in the Department of Health and Human Services.
Where is the local Building Dreams program active?
How can Building Dreams be contacted?
Building Dreams currently serves seven counties – Anderson, Greenville, Manning Oconee, Pickens, Spartanburg and Sumter – and is in the process of expanding in Charleston, Lexington and Richland counties. To learn more about our partner sites, click here.
Information for Partners
What is the role of a faith community in Building Dreams?
Partners in Building Dreams work with us to recruit volunteer adult mentors, match eligible children to mentors, monitor the relationships, host group activities for the kids and youth, and help to organize resources and support for families when needed. Building Dreams personnel provide guidance on how to do this.
If my church participates, how many matches will I need to have?
Building Dreams will work with you to determine what is realistic. Most churches do not have more than 10-15 matches.
If my church participates, how do we get started?
The first step is to select a site coordinator. The site coordinator will be a liaison between the church and Building Dreams. Once you have someone in mind, a representative of Building Dreams will meet with the site coordinator and the minister to review the policies and procedures of the program. If everything is agreeable, Building Dreams will provide training to the site coordinator. Once the site coordinator has received training, the coordinator can begin identifying potential volunteers to mentor.
What kind of support can my church expect from Building Dreams?
Building Dreams personnel work with churches to organize orientation sessions or informational meetings for mentor recruitment, conduct training sessions of volunteers, help with background checks, assist in monitoring and supporting the match relationships, and provide technical assistance or consultation when the church has questions or a problem.
What strategies can we use to recruit mentors?
Churches have used a variety of strategies, including having the minister/pastor issue a “call to action” from the pulpit, organizing a Sunday dedicated to mentoring children of prisoners, hosting a luncheon for interested volunteers to learn more about the program, including information about the program in the bulletin insert and newsletter to encourage church members to volunteer, and approaching potential volunteers one-to-one.
How do I know who will make a good mentor?
Trust your judgment. Research tells us that the best mentors are individuals who work in the helping professions – nurses, teachers, physicians, social workers – but the reality is that anyone can be a good mentor if they care about children.
How does a volunteer become approved to mentor?
Mentors, who meet the age requirement (usually 21), must complete an application, provide references, and agree to a background check. The background check includes a criminal history check and a sex offender registry check. Assuming that the volunteer meets these requirements, the volunteer must complete an initial training before being matched with a child.
What kinds of problems have you had with the families?
Families involved in Building Dreams experience the same kinds of challenges that any family experiences. Most never ask for help. Occasionally, however, families hit a rough patch – in these instances, they may need emergency relief services, counseling, or a friendly face to talk with. Building Dreams personnel are available to help our partners work through these issues.
Where do you find the children?
Children are referred to Building Dreams by schools, churches, law enforcement, DSS and other community organizations. We also receive referrals of children directly from their incarcerated parent. Like the mentors, the children must complete an application to participate.
What happens when the child’s parent is released from prison?
Children can continue to participate in Building Dreams when their parent is released from prison, and we encourage them to do so. The mentor is not intended to replace a parent, but rather is an additional supportive adult for the child.
If a volunteer agrees to mentor, how long will it be before he/she is matched with a child?
It depends. Children and volunteers are matched using several criteria including geographic proximity, race, sex, age (sometimes volunteers request children of a specific age range), and shared interests. Although Building Dreams typically has a waiting list of children, we may not have a child immediately who is an appropriate match. We hope that approved volunteers will not have to wait long, but we would rather have the volunteer wait than to have the child wait.
What if the volunteer is out of town occasionally, can he/she still mentor?
Yes, mentors in Building Dreams must agree to a one year commitment. Mentors also must agree to meet with the child a minimum of 4 hours each month. The 4 hours can be spent at one time (e.g., on a Saturday), however if this happens, mentors should have phone or email contact with the child in the interim. If the mentor has a regularly scheduled time to see the child and cannot keep the appointment, we ask only that the mentor let the child know that he or she cannot be there and reschedule.
Can a married couple mentor together? Can a parent include a mentee in activities with their own children?
Yes, we have several couples who are matched with one or two children and who do activities together. It also is ok for a parent to include their own children in activities with their mentee if it works for their family and if they are able build a relationship with the mentee. Several of our mentors invite their mentees to their house for dinner.
If a volunteer agrees to mentor, what will he or she do with the child?
The role of a mentor is to be a friend, not a teacher, parent, or coach. Our mentors are encouraged to work with their mentees in setting goals for the relationship and to organize activities accordingly. Some children want help with homework, others simply want someone to talk to. Mentors and mentees have taken walks in the park, attended sports events, gone out to eat or to a movie, worked on homework together, or baked cookies. Building Dreams does not expect mentors to engage in activities that cost money. Although most mentors do spend money once in awhile on an activity, we advise against doing it at every meeting – the relationship is what’s important!
Contact Us
Building Dreams
Institute on Family & Neighborhood Life
Clemson University
225 S. Pleasantburg Dr.
Suite B-11
Greenville, SC 29607
(864) 250-4667
(864) 250-4633 – fax
Email: dtaylor@clemson.edu