The Perfect Peach - Part 2


Hey, I’m Desmond Layne, Peach Specialist at Clemson University.  Welcome to the Clemson Tiger Peach Network.

If you’ve been following our “Everything About Peaches” videos that we began last year, you’re probably familiar with the one called “The Perfect Peach”.  To be honest, we were shocked when this thing went viral and had over a million views on the Internet!  Well, perhaps, I exaggerate just a little bit. But go ahead and buckle your seatbelt and get ready for this long awaited sequel to this trilogy.

Not so very long ago in a peach orchard not too far away…

Dr. Peach:  In order to protect “The Perfect Peach” from any two-legged deer doing the old five-fingered discount - if you know what I mean - I have hired the very best security in the galaxy.  He should be coming out of hyperspace any second now.

Jango Fett: Dr. Peach, I trust our arrangement is still in order.

Dr. Peach:  Let me remind you just how critical your assignment is, Jango.  This “top secret” peach is the single most delicious peach in the history of the universe.   For a task as significant as this, I need you to be willing to do whatever is necessary to protect “The Perfect Peach” from falling into the wrong hands! 

Jango Fett:  Consider it done!

Dr. Peach:  You da man!

Jango Fett : You’re a rather odd sort of creature aren’t you!

Andy: Daniel, do you remember last year when we got to taste “The Perfect Peach”? It had that awesome shape, color, and it had that delicious smell and it gave to my squeeze.

Daniel:  Yeah, Andy, I remember that!  It melted in your mouth, it was really sweet and juicy and it even dripped off my elbows! That’s what we’re looking for!

Andy:  Oh yeah!

Andy:  I bet if we looked really hard, we could find it out here.

Daniel:  Yeah, it should be ripening right about now!

Andy and Daniel (in unison):  Could it really be that simple??!!

Andy:  Daniel, do you think we could snag a few without anybody knowing?

Daniel:  You know Andy, I was thinking the exact same thing!

Jango Fett:  Freeze!

Daniel: Who are you?

Andy: What are you doing in our orchard?

Jango:  Your orchard?  Likely story!  Drop those peaches and maybe I won’t have to kill you!

Andy: What are you talking about?  We work for Dr. Peach, really!

Jango Fett: Do you think I was born on the back streets of Tattooeen?  My patience is running out.  Drop those peaches now!

Andy:  Do you think we could run for it?

Daniel:  We better run fast!!

Jango Fett:  Escape is not an option!  Surrender or face disintegration!

Jango Fett:  I hate to have to do this! 

Dr. Peach:  You know finding the perfect peach doesn’t have to be hazardous to your health, right?  Why not visit your local farm stand or roadside market where you can find your very own tree-ripened, “Perfect Peach” to buy and take home and enjoy.

Dr. Peach:  You know, peach season is the best time of the year and before you know it the season is going to be over!  So whatever galaxy you are from, go out and go visit your local farmers and buy as many peaches as you can.

Dr. Peach:  Making healthy food choices for you and your family includes eating lots of fresh fruit like peaches.    Sometimes being Dr. Peach, I feel like I have to come to the defense of peach growers.  Don’t believe any of those reports on TV, or online or in the newspaper that say peaches are unsafe because of pesticide residues.   My Dad has been eating fresh peaches for almost 50 years.  My wife, my children and I  - we’ve  been eating fresh peaches almost as long.  The only problem we ever had was that we ran out of fresh peaches to eat!

Dr. Peach:  Remember, fresh peaches are a delicious summertime treat.  They are a whole lot better for you than chips or cheese puffs!

For more educational videos and information about peaches, you should visit my "Everything About Peaches" website at And if you would like to read my columns for the American Fruit Grower magazine, you can go to their website at