Secondary Trauma
It’s natural to want to support a friend, peer or loved one who is experiencing a mental health crisis. Many of us step into this role without hesitation, offering a listening ear, words of encouragement and unwavering support. But what happens when we begin to feel the emotional weight of their struggles ourselves?
This experience is known as secondary trauma, and it’s more common than you might think. Secondary trauma occurs when an individual is exposed to the traumatic experiences of another person. The emotional toll of supporting someone through a crisis can start to impact our own mental well-being and can be just as severe as having one’s own traumatic experience.
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Recognizing the Signs of Secondary Trauma
Supporting someone through a crisis can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. You might notice:
- Feeling emotionally drained or overwhelmed.
- Trouble concentrating or making decisions.
- Increased anxiety, stress or difficulty sleeping.
- Feeling disconnected from what is going on around and within you.
- Guilt, helplessness or self-doubt.
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension or fatigue.
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How to Take Care of Yourself
If you’re experiencing secondary trauma, there are ways to support your own well-being:
- Reframe Your Thoughts: Shift from “I wasn’t the one going through a hard time, so I don’t deserve to feel this way.” to “That was still really difficult for me, and I need support too."
- Acknowledge Your Emotions: Your feelings matter. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, sad or exhausted.
- Set Boundaries: Supporting someone doesn’t mean sacrificing your own well-being. It is okay to know and communicate your limits of how much time and energy you can offer.
- Engage in Self-Care: Find activities that help you recharge, whether that’s exercise, journaling, mindfulness or spending time with loved ones.
- Reach Out for Support: Talk to a trusted friend, mentor or mental health professional. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
The Administration for Children & Families (ACF) has helpful information about secondary traumatic stress.
It’s commendable to support others, but your mental health is just as important. Recognizing secondary trauma and prioritizing self-care ensures that you can continue to be there for those who need you—while also taking care of yourself. Seeking support isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
